Psycho-babble

*Disclaimer* I am not a therapist, nor do I have a psychological background. All statements are opinions of the author, unless specifically attributed to a clinical source. This entry is a statement of opinion, not a source for diagnostic method or treatment confirmation, and especially not for scholarly research. Look elsewhere. For entertainment and external use only. Please consult your physician if death occurs. *End Disclaimer*

Let me get a little psychoanalytical. When speaking of how people perceive their own self-worth, you can generally classify people into two distinct groups: external or internal validation. Generally, I feel there is very little overlap. It's an interesting game to try and figure out who is who. But that's not what this is about.

This is about fashion. Some people like to look nice. Some people put effort into their physical presentation. It's amazing to me (someone who thinks fashion is the Nazi form of government) that some people look so good on a regular basis. It is as foreign to me as a different language.

I remember first having the pleasure of reading a fashion magazine, on a car trip across Missouri. It wasn't that long ago, perhaps in 2002. I remember the condescension I was treated to when I asked what the big deal was about hair products, why the need for multiple pairs of black shoes, who really buys skin-tightening lotion anyway, etc. I can remember my companion raising her eyebrow when I confessed that I just used a bar of soap in the shower.

"Don't you know what that does to your pores?" she asked, agog.
"Oh sure," I said. "That's why I make sure to rinse my hands thoroughly before using the beer pitcher."

Needless to say, I was deemed unworthy to discuss further matter on such a subject.

It's attractive to me, in a way. Not because they necessarily look attractive, but more like "Boy, you don't have any crap in your car trunk" sort of appreciation. I mean, I have no idea how long it takes them to get ready in the morning, or how many steps of preparation they have, or how many minutes it takes to put together an outfit. It's just amazing to me that some people spend a lot of time doing it, and I generally don't even think about it.

For me, putting effort into dressing involves finding where my keys are hiding, finding out if my chosen shirt has any holes, and finding two socks that have grey toes. It was nice to have a fashion consultant for a while, because while it made me feel more "put together", it also removed any blame I might have accrued from trying to wear the wrong shirt with the wrong tie.

Just to wrap it up, as you might expect, many people with an external sense of self-worth tend to spend a great deal of time with appearance, more likely to develop eating disorders, and have unrealistic expectations about their body (leading to body dysmorphic disorder, among other things). But don't think the internal people get off easy: they're prone to delusions, intractability, and anti-social tendencies such as not giving credence to other people's conflicting opinions.

So do the people who take care to dress fashionably have an external self-worth, meaning they're looking for the opinions of others to validate their own choices ("I wear this because it accentuates my good parts.")? Perhaps they dress nice FOR other people, knowing that someone appreciates that they take the time ("I wore white because I know you like it when I do."). Or do they feel internal self-worth, meaning the care of appearance is only because they like looking nice ("My day sucked, so I changed clothes and now I feel better."), and it doesn't really matter whether they're giving a speech or going to get the mail?

(P.S. How stereoypical is my mind that I can't write example sentences concerning "feelings" about clothes and make them gender neutral in my mind?)