Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Help, less. Helpless.

Actress Olivia Wilde
You know it's going to be a awkward conversation when the conversation goes: "Hey, you know who you might like?  Elisa.  She's smart like you.  And she likes scarves."

There were indignant protestations that surely I had said something like needing a partner who was smart.  Eventually, it was determined that what I'd said was that I needed someone who behaved maturely.  I'm not sure I'd trust my romantic aspirations to the hands of someone who thinks being smart and being mature is one and the same thing.

Tractless Waste

I recently had my birthday and in addition to the usual cards and presents, I received a handwritten letter.  That in itself is noteworthy, but this letter came from someone in Kansas City.  Addressed to Mr. Andrew Schwartz, it was from a name I didn't recognize.  What could this person be writing to me about?

Below is the text of the letter, reproduced with alterations for the sake of mercy:

Sunday, September 11, 2011

All's War in Love and Fair

Over the weekend, I worked the company booth at the local city fair.  It's ostensibly to commemorate the fact that the Sante Fe and Oregon trails started in the vicinity, but nowadays it has carnival rides and friend Oreos -- not exactly the period cuisine.

Due to a scheduling *ahem* development, I worked every day of the fair.  In addition to most of a regular work day.  And on Saturday, I was there the entire time from 10am to 10pm. 

It's the holy grail of people watching, I think. 

Friday, September 02, 2011

My Very Eenteresting Monseigneur Just Said "Unigenitus Nunc Pater"

Currently, I have a trombone student who is not like all the others I've taught.

For one thing, he's an adult.  Adult students are rare for me, coming as I do from a youth educational background. It's far more likely to see a student of twelve than a student of sixty when they pick up the trombone for the first time.

Also, he's a man of the cloth.

[ahem]