Cathartic Honesty and Honestly Cathartic
I've been trying to decide if honesty is really the best policy. This isn't about lying; that's not usually a good policy. This concerns withholding things that are true. "Lies of omission" as they're known in legal parlance.
Let me clarify something else. It's easy to say that it's not good policy to omit important details. Unlike the courtroom, however, in everyday life we aren't compelled to reveal everything we know. There are whole categories of things that are true, but don't need to be communicated. So, what qualifies something that does not need to be shared...and what is something that should be shared?
I am often told personal things in confidence. Some people add a redundant "and don't tell anyone". As a general rule, I don't go around spreading other people's business. I flatter myself that I have a good sense of what is public fodder and what is personal enough to lock down. Perhaps that's why people always consider me hard to read; personal details come in but seldom make it back out (black hole fashion).
That's complete garbage, of course. Part of my stand-offish behavior comes from my reluctance to partake in conversations that I don't know anything about. It allows me to be well-versed in the subjects I do engage in. In all honesty, that's not true, either.
Every once and a while, a strange cloud settles on me. While under this cloud, I share much more personal information than I ordinarily do. Luckily, this cloud doesn't involve alcohol. If anything, it involves a conversation with someone who has an interest in me. It's a rather unpredictable occurrence that must have something to do with "friendship". I'm sure there will be studies done in the future.
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I was discussing stress the other night. It seems that the catholic stress level among my acquaintances is rising. Everyone seems to be more on edge. Groups are fractioning into argument elements, individuals are finding it a terrible chore to be near specific people, and everyone's voice tends to get loud when they're talking about it.
It's a function of stress, we think. As it stands, I think "stress" is a nice catch all. But it's really only a general heading. The individual causes of stress are the true roots and lumping every motivation to stress does them a disservice. Conflict that has been brewing below the surface explodes out: histrionic fits seem to occur with frightening frequency. Suddenly, no one can hold their private grudges private; what good are they if no one knows about them? If they don't realize they're being excoriated, it's time to turn up the volume on the silent contempt!
Is it good that people keep their grudges from each other, if they just end up complaining to everyone around them? That places the listener in the not-so-nice position of having to choose sides.
Some people don't like it when their friends side with the opposition, even if there's a good reason to support it.
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Today's Fortune: If you're interested in getting opinions from someone, straightforwardly asking for them may find success. Lucky Numbers: 4, 25, 37, 41
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