Be Mature Enough to Know When to be Immature

R. Lee Ermey says: Where's your honor, dirtbag? You are an absolute disgrace!




In most cases, I have no problem with immaturity. In fact, I've been known to indulge in it a bit, here and there. Like obvious sarcasm, there are some cases when it's warranted, and some when it's actually funny.

But what fun would this be if I talked about those times? I become personally peeved when people don't act with maturity when it is asked of them. Standard disclaimer applies: This is my opinion. The people I'm frustrated with are acting against what *I* think should happen. Your mileage may vary. Follow-up disclaimer: I think I'm about to ramble. Some or all topics may not be related. Fasten safety belts.

Let's talk about college age people. By the time you're in college, I expect you to be able to known when to knuckle under and accept the things you can't change. As my father says, "Pick your battles." It honestly shocks me the way some people (whom I might call adults in regular circumstances) behave when things don't go their way. In cases like these, seeing people in their twenties behaving like children is disgusting.

I'm not trying to change what anyone thinks. The electrical impulses that form your opinions are entirely yours. It's not in my interest to prevent or enable you thinking that a flat tax is stupid, God is dead, or homosexuals make the best bank tellers. I'm sure you have reasons for thinking all of those things.

Let's talk about professional ethics. In a professional situation, as I mentioned above, it's not time or place to give voice to every opinion you have. It's CERTAINLY not the place to give voice to grudges. You are there to behave as a professional. In effect, you are being paid to make sure you can deal and cope with almost everything that comes your way.

There are some exceptions: harassment, bigotry, discrimination. You don't have to deal with those. Chances are good someone above you can. When I worked in food service, I instructed people on how to deal with adversarial customers. Andy's Golden Rule is: once they make a personal attack, the conversation is over. You no longer need to speak to them; go and get someone who's paid to deal with that.

But let's set aside the BIG 3. Once you're in a professional situation, you'd better behave like a professional. Know why? Because everyone is watching. Even people you think aren't paying attention will start paying attention if you make a big enough stink.

In my current line of study, there are lots of personality conflicts. Some people just plain don't like each other, but because some of it is news to me. Not because I'm not paying attention. It's because it stays out of the public eye, or at least so subtle it's easily missed.

On the other hand, I'm well aware of other situations. "Don't let those two sit next to each other. They're fighting." "Don't let that guy say anything. It's just going to piss people off and disrupt things." What the hell!

Drifting from topic slightly: Starting a few years ago, I was introduced to the idea that some people don't want anyone else to perceive they've been taken advantage of. Said another way, they don't want people to think that anyone gets the better of them. Every story they tell involves them striking back, coming out ahead while dusting their adversaries, or making someone look stupid while they stand triumphant. It's ugly.

I'm disappointed that I'm noticing it amongst musicians, too. I don't want everyone to be a doormat, but please balance indignation with resignation.