"We desire nothing so much as what we ought not to have."
--Publilius Syrus (~100 BC)
"There are some people I simply can't force myself to be friends with. It is because I so desperately want to." --a friend
Knowing things about people is usually a good thing. It helps to further cement bonds of commonality between friends: the more you have in common, the easier it is to form strong friendships. But amazing things occur when analyzing people's interests.
For one, it brings out the insecurities in yourself. Anything that you're interested in but even slightly ashamed of will be reflected in one's reluctance to make it public that you're a fan. For example, I like Disney animated films (though I've missed many of the newer ones). The best experience I've had watching it lately is in the company of a child. The situation might have occured where I was insecure about th
is and (as many have done) would speak down about them in public. All this would be a dramatic smokescreen in order to cover the fact that I owned them all, watched them with regularity, and owned many of the stuffed animals. Were I involved in competitive pissing contests with other "real men", I might have such constipation. In total disclosure, I own only two stuffed animals: a blue roo and Hedwig, Harry Potter's owl. See attached crappy digital photo.
But the real cirumstance I wanted to address is much sappier than my plush owl. "Really?" I hear you say. "How could that be possible?" The answer being that it has to do with attraction and sentimentality.
A good friend of mine has had a little contact with a very nice lady (hello, lady!). They're "tentatively acquainted", which is to say that they know the same people and have, by happy accident, been invited to the same places. He's learned enough about her from her online personal reflections (read: blog, webpages) to know that she is something wonderful. He ended a conversation I had with him by trying to figure out if this new sort of "knowledge" was creepy to apply to trying become a friend, with further closeness perhaps available later.
I understand his point. It's a bit strange to know more about someone than they've actually told you. It feels like gossip, except that it's straight from the "horse's mouth" (sorry, lady!). Anyway, there is a great struggle on whether or not leave himself open to developing this friendship. Does he want to hang out with this lady who has similar compatible interests, knowing that he's attracted to her and desiring, from the start, to be more than friends? That seems slightly predatorial. Or does he queitly excuse himself from all the places they might run into each other, to remove himself from temptation? That seems overkill. I certainly don't envy my friend his choice.
Oh, and did I mention that one of them has a significant other? That's probably important, too.
"There are some people I simply can't force myself to be friends with. It is because I so desperately want to." --a friend
Knowing things about people is usually a good thing. It helps to further cement bonds of commonality between friends: the more you have in common, the easier it is to form strong friendships. But amazing things occur when analyzing people's interests.
For one, it brings out the insecurities in yourself. Anything that you're interested in but even slightly ashamed of will be reflected in one's reluctance to make it public that you're a fan. For example, I like Disney animated films (though I've missed many of the newer ones). The best experience I've had watching it lately is in the company of a child. The situation might have occured where I was insecure about th
is and (as many have done) would speak down about them in public. All this would be a dramatic smokescreen in order to cover the fact that I owned them all, watched them with regularity, and owned many of the stuffed animals. Were I involved in competitive pissing contests with other "real men", I might have such constipation. In total disclosure, I own only two stuffed animals: a blue roo and Hedwig, Harry Potter's owl. See attached crappy digital photo.But the real cirumstance I wanted to address is much sappier than my plush owl. "Really?" I hear you say. "How could that be possible?" The answer being that it has to do with attraction and sentimentality.
A good friend of mine has had a little contact with a very nice lady (hello, lady!). They're "tentatively acquainted", which is to say that they know the same people and have, by happy accident, been invited to the same places. He's learned enough about her from her online personal reflections (read: blog, webpages) to know that she is something wonderful. He ended a conversation I had with him by trying to figure out if this new sort of "knowledge" was creepy to apply to trying become a friend, with further closeness perhaps available later.
I understand his point. It's a bit strange to know more about someone than they've actually told you. It feels like gossip, except that it's straight from the "horse's mouth" (sorry, lady!). Anyway, there is a great struggle on whether or not leave himself open to developing this friendship. Does he want to hang out with this lady who has similar compatible interests, knowing that he's attracted to her and desiring, from the start, to be more than friends? That seems slightly predatorial. Or does he queitly excuse himself from all the places they might run into each other, to remove himself from temptation? That seems overkill. I certainly don't envy my friend his choice.
Oh, and did I mention that one of them has a significant other? That's probably important, too.
"Roo" is his name, so you should capitalize it. What he is is a kangaroo. He just happens to be blue. By the way, sucks to be your friend. If he's the one with the significant other, shame on him. If it's her, then shame on him. Unless she encourages him, then shame on her. This is why I don't like dating. Relationships are tricky, annoying and timeconsuming.
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