"I love talking about nothing, father. It's the only thing I know anything about."
--An Ideal Husband, Act I, Oscar Wilde
There is something liberating in talking about nothing. Of course, the only times I feel that is when there's a definite "something" that I ought to be talking about. Often to save ourselves from embarrassment, we resort to talking about nothing. When topics drift too close to our privacy zone, we reflexively divert the conversation.
Uncomfortable topics. There are many reactions, and often it depends on the nature of what is being discussed. Obviously a financial concern has a different sort of passion associated with it than would a romantic longing. Some would react very differently to those two subjects; that's certainly no surprise. What is notable is when people react the same to both of those circumstances.
Lately, I've been rather pointed with asking questions that might be considered "too personal". I am well aware of where the line is in such matters. I'm not pressing for information out of some peevish desire to unsettled the person; far from it. I ask only those private questions to which I believe the person already has some idea of an answer, and that said answer will not cause any great distress.
I'm specifically probing the situation of wanting to talk about some things, but feeling the societal pressure that one shouldn't bring up such things. It is one thing to speak on a subject that you are asked about, and quite another matter to volunteer personal information unasked. I think it happens far more often that people wish to be asked about emotional subjects; perhaps they would be affronted, but subconsciously they long to be allowed to speak things out loud. We are only seeking permission to engage in this form of vanity, so as not to appear completely self-centered.
In years past, I was more likely to simply lie. Not to lie because I had anything to hide, no. I lied because my own lies always seemed (to me) more interesting than the truth. Now, I'm just as likely to actually state the truth as tell a lie. I found it's just as entertaining to tell the truth when everyone thinks it is a lie. A private joke.
As a mark of increasing awareness of the importance of others, there is one person who is assured of my total honesty; at least, as much as I am capable of. I cannot guarantee against lies I tell myself, those are notoriously hard to identify.
If you all are getting uppity, relax. I seldom go to the trouble of lying now. It's much easier to either say what I feel, or simply not to answer anything I find "too personal". This straightforward behavior helps to develop respect from one's peers, and I recommend it to everyone.
There is something liberating in talking about nothing. Of course, the only times I feel that is when there's a definite "something" that I ought to be talking about. Often to save ourselves from embarrassment, we resort to talking about nothing. When topics drift too close to our privacy zone, we reflexively divert the conversation.
Uncomfortable topics. There are many reactions, and often it depends on the nature of what is being discussed. Obviously a financial concern has a different sort of passion associated with it than would a romantic longing. Some would react very differently to those two subjects; that's certainly no surprise. What is notable is when people react the same to both of those circumstances.
Lately, I've been rather pointed with asking questions that might be considered "too personal". I am well aware of where the line is in such matters. I'm not pressing for information out of some peevish desire to unsettled the person; far from it. I ask only those private questions to which I believe the person already has some idea of an answer, and that said answer will not cause any great distress.
I'm specifically probing the situation of wanting to talk about some things, but feeling the societal pressure that one shouldn't bring up such things. It is one thing to speak on a subject that you are asked about, and quite another matter to volunteer personal information unasked. I think it happens far more often that people wish to be asked about emotional subjects; perhaps they would be affronted, but subconsciously they long to be allowed to speak things out loud. We are only seeking permission to engage in this form of vanity, so as not to appear completely self-centered.
Some people don't like talking about themselves. I can hear you all now. "Kettle? This is Pot! You're black!" It is true that I'm certainly not known for self-disclosure. But, as is the case with this blog, I am fond of self-control. It is not often that I answer questions that I don't wish to answer."Isn't the weather beautiful today? What sunshine..."
"Yes, yes. Terrible. But listen to the ghastly thing that just happened to me!"
In years past, I was more likely to simply lie. Not to lie because I had anything to hide, no. I lied because my own lies always seemed (to me) more interesting than the truth. Now, I'm just as likely to actually state the truth as tell a lie. I found it's just as entertaining to tell the truth when everyone thinks it is a lie. A private joke.
As a mark of increasing awareness of the importance of others, there is one person who is assured of my total honesty; at least, as much as I am capable of. I cannot guarantee against lies I tell myself, those are notoriously hard to identify.
If you all are getting uppity, relax. I seldom go to the trouble of lying now. It's much easier to either say what I feel, or simply not to answer anything I find "too personal". This straightforward behavior helps to develop respect from one's peers, and I recommend it to everyone.
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