Yay for the Internet?

A few months ago, a friend mentioned his upcoming summer wedding. I remembered this morning and went searching online. I knew nothing more than the groom's name and the first name of his intended.

Where to begin? Why, Target, of course! This is not an exaggeration to say that every wedding I have been invited to since my friends started marrying has had a registry at Target. I suppose Target is the wonderful in-between from K-Mart and Lord & Taylor. One can feel confident that people won't sneer at you for cheapness, since you aren't at the absolute cheap end. Neither will they balk because you have $600 sheet sets and Waterford Crystal cereal bowls. All hail Target.

Acting on a well-reasoned hunch, I searched the gift registry. Behold! There they were. Groom's full name, bride's full name, date of ceremony, and the fact that they want an alarm clock and kitchen trash can. Of course, I can't stop there, since I don't know anything about the bride. I can't be bothered to actually ASK her, since we've never met. Instead, we can meet virtually; except that I do it anonymously and without her knowledge, and she has no idea who I am or what I'll find. Creepy, but educational. So once again to the search engines I go!

After combing through search results, I found her current place of employment, job description, and a photograph. Not a bad day's work. Now I can judge her from the privacy of my own computer room, and decide whether or not she's good enough (and pretty enough) for MY friend. Good news for her: she passes. Though if she wants to stay out of the gray area, she should do something more interesting with her hair. The German Milkmaid thing is SO over.

In all seriousness, I'm glad I was able to find all this information. My friend had spoken in glowing terms of his prospective bride, but it's hard for me to put together the knowledge of a person if I don't have a face to stimulate accretion. At least now, when I meet them in seven more years, I'll have a name and a face to stimulate recognition.

And I suppose that, at least in this case, there was no embarrassment. A search for her name didn't show her to be part of the Illinois Nazi Party (blond and blue-eyed though she may be). She's a coordinator with the special education department of a school district involving 8 high schools. That's the sort of thing one can be proud to have people stumble across on the internet.

Of course, had I searched for her dominatrix name, Scar-mistress Gretchen, then the results might not have been so prosaic.