Quick, corporal: hand me that trashy fantasy novel!

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I guess all that regular war correspondence isn't winning any Pulitzer Prizes, so it's time for Fox News caption editors to bring the purple prose!

You know, "sea of hell" sounds like one of those phrases a 15-year-old puts onto their writing assignments to sound troubled and tortured. I happen to have such an example from MySpace, which my crack research staff creat.... I mean, found.