A Power Slap

Let me sketch out a hypothetical situation.

You're eating dinner in a restaurant. Two or three tables away is a couple, deep in conversation. Halfway through your entree, the woman stands up, slaps the man across the face, and leaves the restaurant.

Obviously, there's been a confrontation. Make a snap judgment of the situation. Quick! Who's to blame?

If you assumed "the man", then I agree with you. So do the other ten people I asked. I have a hunch that most people would agree. After all, it's a typical scene that everyone knows: the guy says something hurtful and the woman gets disgusted. She then gives him a slap to try to impress upon him the torture of whatever he just said.

I was thinking about this situation in the shower the other day, and I reached a startling thought: the woman has control of the situation, absolutely and totally. When she makes the decision to slap the man and leave, she has control of the sentiments of the entire room. Everyone immediately knows the man is guilty of something. Why else would she slap him?

Why else, indeed? I conceived of a situation where a woman is eating calmly with her date. Then, because of a psychological defect or a need for attention, she slaps her date (completely unprovoked). She has control of every other diner's thoughts at that moment. And after she leaves, the man can sputter and exclaim how he didn't do anything; it would only make him appear more guilty.

Following this bizarre train of thought, I tried to conceive of a circumstance where a man could do the same thing. Could a man slap a woman in public? I don't think so. No matter how justified, a man cannot slap a woman in public. He loses all credibility and instantly becomes a pariah. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with the relative size or musculature of the couple; it's still just not acceptable under any circumstances.

A man can yell. He can swear. He can throw glassware. He can overturn chairs and table. He can throw money at her to fulfill a scene from "La Traviata". But he cannot hit her. No matter how she deserves it. No matter how justified in a reverse-gender situation. It just can't be done and be publically acknowledged as correct behavior. And possibly more importantly, it can't be done without assuming the mantle of an "evil person", and forfeiting a legitimate position.

So the big question is this: is this leverage, that still reflects an unequal power structure between women and men, that the women need resort to physical violence because they feel powerless in other areas? Or are we equal enough (and mature enough!) that nobody should be hitting anybody, the first step being that women need to "disarm"?

Should slapping from either gender ever be acceptable in today's society?