"Aren't there any *nice* girls at that school?"

While I was home, I showed my parents a formal picture of me sitting in with a local band. I'm there on the right; just follow the glare from the big forehead! All of us look good, in our matching outfits. My mom looked at the picture and said, "Oh, there you are."

And seemingly in the same breath, she said, "That's a cute girl," pointing to the girl standing behind the tympani. I bob my head noncommittally. She consults my middle brother for a second opinion. He also nods, making vaguely-positive mumblings. If my father were involved in this conversation, his next question would be, "Is she single?" My response, an honest "I don't know. I don't really know her," would be met with a scoff of slack-jawed disbelief. "Just get out there and say 'Hi'!"

My father is always looking out for me. Whenever my parents visit for concerts or recitals, he usually spots someone on the stage who'd be a "possible" girlfriend. "That girl in the back; she's pretty." These observations always seem brought up as though I've got myself buried so far in books and solo pieces that I've never REALLY looked at any of the women who surround me on a daily basis.

This declaration of girl-noticing is actually a rather large unasked question. When my parents say, "That girl is cute," it's their way of saying, "so how come you aren't dating her?" I'm sure most parents quiz their children about their romantic lives, eager to know if anybody's going to be brought home to meet the parents. Then wanting to know when the engagement will be. Then the wedding. Then the children. Then the next visit!

If I point out that that pretty girl in the back is engaged to one of the trumpet players, my dad will say "hmm", in a way that means either "Engaged, eh? Doesn't that sound like fun?" or "So you hesitated and missed your chance with that one, huh?" depending on the prevailing wind.

I love my parents dearly, but I hope they understand that those thoughts rattle around in my head all day. It's really not possible to be single and NOT continually walk around in this cloud of your own thoughts about relationships and attractive people. As they say, nobody thinks more about relationships than the people who aren't in one, but want to be.

Which is why, when I saw a cute girl earlier this evening, all I could think about was my father's voice saying "Does it hurt to say 'hello'?" Of course, it doesn't hurt. Unless uncomfortable anxiety counts; does it count?

But it also didn't get me any closer to figuring out if she's single. I'm saving that for the next meeting, which will no doubt begin with "Hello. Again."

I'm suave that way.