A Weekend BBQ and Other Ramblings

Driving home from the grocery today, there was a large plume of black smoke coming up above the trees. It couldn't have been more than a quarter mile from my place, and I could see it from my living room windows. As I was unpacking my foodstuffs, I could smell the fire. Within a couple of minutes, many fire and emergency vehicles were rushing down the local roads, and a short time later, the smoke from the fire turned white, which either means it's close to being extinguished, or they've decided on a new pope. I can't quite remember.

I also watched a friend do something very foolish. I was going to say "stupid," but that's a little harsh. Often times when we say "foolish," what we mean is that it is a choice we would not make. Before you ask, I try to be as objective as I can. Sometimes it's easy to be so. Others, it verges on impossible, but at those times I am aware of my limitations.

I wanted to castigate them for being so irrational, but I caught myself. How often, in an emotional set of circumstances, did I make decisions based on emotions? Did I listen to "reason?" Of course not! I knew what I was doing, and I felt like I was making the proper choices. So I stepped back. It's a hard thing to let people do things that I think is a bad idea, but how else do we learn, right? If it stays bad, it's a lesson for my friend. And if it turns out good, it's a lesson for me.

I evaluate people constantly, almost without even thinking about it. I'm sure many people do, but I'm not sure how many think about it. I was talking to a friend and I realized I was doing it. Everything she said was being added to a sculpture in my mind. Every way she phrased her sentences to give them subtle meaning, every time she smiled or frowned while making a point: it all contributed to the sculpture of the archtypal "individual" in my mind. It's stupid to think in "plus" or "minus," but I kept thinking about my approval as things were added to the sculpture. "Yes, that's a good change. I like that. Ooops, definitely should have left that out. Bad show."

And I don't have time to go into this now, but I just wanted to express my singular frustration and disgust with "vanity." In particular, the people who are vain and don't think they are. I'm not sure how one can be more misguided about onesself. In the colloquialism of the day, these people are "attention whores," and they unsettle my stomach. More on this when I reach Pride in my sin collection.