Friday, September 08, 2006

All This Commotion!

I left on my commute home at approximately 5:15pm today. I try to avoid driving at this time, simply because the roads are congested and turning left anywhere can be a ridiculous hassle. Today, it was terrible.

On my particular route home, there was a protest. Lots of people, lots of hand-lettered signs. What's it for, was my first thought. Well, they didn't make it easy to figure out. The largest sign simply read, "Was it worth it?" This could apply to many things, from the construction of a new basketball arena in town to the decision to switch car insurance companies.

There was yellow caution tape everywhere, and police closing the roads and redirecting traffic in the opposite direction from my home. Sigh. I knew it would be a long commute. And this is why it's important to have clear signs for your cause. If it was something I support, I wouldn't be nearly as miffed. If it was something I despise, I could spend the extra time in my car cursing them and their idiocy. But as it stands, a generic protest that's in my way only garners frustration. Can't you go to a park, or at least the sidewalk?

That's one of the reasons why I love hanging around a university. A wide swath of the political spectrum is represented, if my brief survey can be trusted. Of course, my survey consists of driving around the parking garage, looking for a spot, and happening to notice bumper stickers, but I stand by the validity of my research. Notable finds:

"W in '08" -- I'm not sure if this is supposed to be ironic or serious, but I prescribe a refresher-course on civics and the 22nd amendment.

A Dinosaur eating a ichthys -- I suppose this is evolution demonstrating dominance over creationism, but I'm not sure. It could also be mainstream Christians vs. the Young Earth Creationists. This demonstrates the cardinal rule of bumper sticker propaganda: if people can't tell what your sticker means, you might need a new sticker.

"Dog is my co-pilot" -- A take-off of the cliche about God, this reminds me too much of the lame joke about the dyslexic atheist, who ponders the existence of a loving dog. Thumbs down.

"Hillary Clinton '08: My Candidate Can Eat Your Candidate" -- Thumbs up for non sequitur provoking a bewildered laugh. Irony Content: Undetermined

A big "Truth" fish eating the smaller "Darwin" fish -- Definitely the most confusing. If the Truth represents Christianity, then it's a criticism of Darwin's theories of evolution. If the Truth fish represents a larger fish eating smaller fish, it's a confirmation of Darwin's hypothesis concerning the survival of the fittest. Recommendation: consult the other parts of the bumper for context. Result: "1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4 Given" Conclusion: Drawn your own.

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