Gain On Paper

My computer announced to me this morning that a stock I own a few shares of had increased in value a significant amount. Last Friday, the stock closed at $63.99 per share. This morning, it was traded at $637,500 per share. This represents a "per share" percent gain of close to 1,000,000%. This increased my net worth by approximately 33,000%.

I'm announcing my complete retirement, effective as soon as I can verify this fantastic sum. It's a testament to the extreme hard work I've put into the field.

FAKE EDIT: It tuns out that the price actually DECREASED to $63.75, representing a personal loss. I may need some debt help, after ordering several fancy cars and a great deal of fancy apples from Harry & David.

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