Thursday, April 22, 2010

Fixing dinner is a sign of maturity

I don't want to jinx it, but I think I may be able to come home after work tonight and cook dinner.  It's been a while, coming off of the brass band's push towards contest.  That phase usually ends up eating all the nights, in addition to the fact that I've been working the days.  I mentioned to one of the Fountain City guys that I was looking forward to a weekend with nothing in it.  "It's not this weekend," I cautioned.  "But maybe next week."

I've been thinking a fair amount about maturity.  Recently, I was at a party and approached a female friend of mine.  I made a wry observation about the hors d'oeurve that wasn't particularly snappy, but we had a conversation that went along these lines:

She said, "I'm so glad to talk to you.  I've been spending most of my time with Angela and her boyfriend, and it's nice to have an intelligent man around."

This definitely through me off my conversational rhythm.  I said, "Is he all that bad?"

She replied, "Somewhat.  He's just so ... young and immature."

I frowned.  "He's 20 or something, right?"

"Yes, but it's really obvious when I talk to you."

Maturity is such a funny thing.  I start to feel old before my time when people talk about it.  It sort of weirds me out if I'm in a situation where I realize that I'm much more mature than people who are older or afforded societal respect.  It earns a frown from me.

I'm not talking about keeping a dour expression, confining conversation to the weather, and saying "how do you do?" often.  That's not maturity.  I'm speaking of:

-)  Maybe you shouldn't make business decisions based on the color of your girlfriends toenails, even if it will make her happy.

-)  Maybe you shouldn't continue with your joke if you have to preface it with, "Now someone like you will be REALLY offended by this..."

-)  Maybe you shouldn't conspire to place a friend, for comedic value, into a situation that has the potential to be really upsetting for them.

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned.  Perhaps what I'm saying is what previous generations said when people tried to give women the right to vote or own property: "This is just rude and immature behavior that I won't stand for."  Every generation does tend to react against the social mores of the time.

But I do find it hard to think that any generation was accepting of something like passive-aggressively baiting your spouse in mixed company.  That just seems a little too... what's the word?  Oh, yeah: mean.

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