Wracking my nerves as well as my brain
I haven't composed as much as I used to, and there's a very good reason for that. As each day passes, I grow more and more nervous and frazzled, and it prevents me from sitting down and thinking about other things for very long.
My comprehensive exams are approaching. For my particular doctoral program, after all university classes have been passed and everything except the research projects have been completed, it's time for comprehensive exams. The exams are given once a semester, and require the student to demonstrate a broad knowledge of music history, theory and analysis, and the major area (in my case, trombone). The exams are universally loathed, even by the professors who administer them. Because they are so loathed, they are being revamped for all incoming students. It remains to be seen if the revision will be more or less tedious.
The history and theory exams are each "three hour" examinations, but they are booked from 9am to 1pm on successive Saturdays. I don't know that I can be bothered to take tests for people who clearly failed basic math. The first exam, Theory, will be administered this Saturday. The first Saturday in October brings the History exam. The exams are pass or fail. Any exam that is failed can be retaken ONCE.
It is this last point that haunts my days and interrupts my nights. There is, effectively, two chances to pass the exams. After two, that's it. Finished. The student is no longer allowed to progress on the degree. If the exams are passed, then the student will be considered a "candidate" for the degree. One of my professors lamented the name "comprehensive"; she felt they should be called "barrier" exams.
For my part, the whole "barrier" idea is nauseating. I have spent nine academic years to reach this point. Then I get two strikes, before I am dismissed with a kindly pat on the head. My cousin recently took the bar examination on the route to becoming a lawyer. It can be repeated until passed, or until the death of the student from old age prevents further testing. Why does a music degree have stricter standards? Is this why there are so many lawyers, and not as many D.M.A. recipients? I always thought it had to do with the pay...
I've spent the last month reviewing. I have a thousand different musical facts floating free in my head. Quodlibet is a compositional style characterized by the use of several complete musical pieces in several languages combined into a single piece; popular in the 16th century. Opera-comique is a stage work, usually French, which involves vocal and instrumental music and spoken dialog; popular in the 18th and 19th centuries.
My friends and family have offered plenty of support and reassurance. I have only myself to rely upon, however. I don't mean that to sound fatalistic; it's just that there's very little anyone else can do for me. My brother can't judge my fugal analysis, for example.
In contrast to the above tone, I'm not all that worried yet. Sure, it's a concern that there's only a limited number of attempts. I'm studying hard, however, and definitely trying hard to pass the whole thing in one go. And even if I don't, I get a whole 'nother chance to study hard for whatever I don't succeed in.
And no matter what happens, it won't ruin my holidays at year's end. So there's no need to get all bent out of shape.
Not just yet.
My comprehensive exams are approaching. For my particular doctoral program, after all university classes have been passed and everything except the research projects have been completed, it's time for comprehensive exams. The exams are given once a semester, and require the student to demonstrate a broad knowledge of music history, theory and analysis, and the major area (in my case, trombone). The exams are universally loathed, even by the professors who administer them. Because they are so loathed, they are being revamped for all incoming students. It remains to be seen if the revision will be more or less tedious.
The history and theory exams are each "three hour" examinations, but they are booked from 9am to 1pm on successive Saturdays. I don't know that I can be bothered to take tests for people who clearly failed basic math. The first exam, Theory, will be administered this Saturday. The first Saturday in October brings the History exam. The exams are pass or fail. Any exam that is failed can be retaken ONCE.
It is this last point that haunts my days and interrupts my nights. There is, effectively, two chances to pass the exams. After two, that's it. Finished. The student is no longer allowed to progress on the degree. If the exams are passed, then the student will be considered a "candidate" for the degree. One of my professors lamented the name "comprehensive"; she felt they should be called "barrier" exams.
For my part, the whole "barrier" idea is nauseating. I have spent nine academic years to reach this point. Then I get two strikes, before I am dismissed with a kindly pat on the head. My cousin recently took the bar examination on the route to becoming a lawyer. It can be repeated until passed, or until the death of the student from old age prevents further testing. Why does a music degree have stricter standards? Is this why there are so many lawyers, and not as many D.M.A. recipients? I always thought it had to do with the pay...
I've spent the last month reviewing. I have a thousand different musical facts floating free in my head. Quodlibet is a compositional style characterized by the use of several complete musical pieces in several languages combined into a single piece; popular in the 16th century. Opera-comique is a stage work, usually French, which involves vocal and instrumental music and spoken dialog; popular in the 18th and 19th centuries.
My friends and family have offered plenty of support and reassurance. I have only myself to rely upon, however. I don't mean that to sound fatalistic; it's just that there's very little anyone else can do for me. My brother can't judge my fugal analysis, for example.
In contrast to the above tone, I'm not all that worried yet. Sure, it's a concern that there's only a limited number of attempts. I'm studying hard, however, and definitely trying hard to pass the whole thing in one go. And even if I don't, I get a whole 'nother chance to study hard for whatever I don't succeed in.
And no matter what happens, it won't ruin my holidays at year's end. So there's no need to get all bent out of shape.
Not just yet.
since you are one fo the most intellectual people I know, I think that bodes well for your achievement. however, I run in a very small crowd, so maybe that's not so comforting. Irregardless, good luck.
ReplyDeletethe 'irregardless' is meant as ironical, jsyk
ReplyDelete