Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Tractless Waste

I recently had my birthday and in addition to the usual cards and presents, I received a handwritten letter.  That in itself is noteworthy, but this letter came from someone in Kansas City.  Addressed to Mr. Andrew Schwartz, it was from a name I didn't recognize.  What could this person be writing to me about?

Below is the text of the letter, reproduced with alterations for the sake of mercy:

Topaz Johnson
Such-and-such Charlotte Street
Kansas City, MO  ZIPZIP

Dear Neighbor,
     I have not been able to speak with you personally, but I have some important information that I want to share with you.  A sample of it is contained in the enclosed tract.

     There are six most important questions that humans often ask about.  This tract shows the clear satisfying answer that are found in the Bible.
     We engage in this activity because we are genuinely interested in our neighbors.  Our work is not commercial. It is our hope that someday soon we will be able to talk to you personally.  Please feel free to get in touch with us at the above address.

Topaz Johnson

The most disappointing aspect is that there was no tract included. Perhaps she (or "we" as she refers to herself and whatever group she belongs to) ran out of funds.  Or they were in a big rush to get the July quota out the door -- and cut unfortunate corners!

Do you suppose the people at this organization know me?  Or are they doing the delightfully archaic practice of going through the telephone book and mailing everyone?  In either case, someone put a 48-cent stamp on this letter in order to get it to my door.  Was I part of the "most in need of redeeming" in Kansas City?  I won't ever know.


  1. I've gotten these before. I seem to get one every other year or so.

  2. Did yours have tracts in them, or just the tantalizing promise of religious literature?