Even that isn't enough to get me to watch "Americal Idol"

I saw this headline on the front page of Yahoo just now. In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that I've never watched an episode of American Idol. I don't know anything about Simon, other than his name is Simon and he can be mean and bitchy. I don't know anything about the other judges. I don't know anything about the host, Ryan Seacrest, other than hearing late night comedians use "Ryan Seacrest" as the butt of jokes. I know that the first winner was Kelly Clarkson, but only because I heard her debut song on the radio SO MUCH, and they always referred to her as "that girl who won 'American Idol'".

So I don't know if they're letting people on in bikini tops because it's set in the south of France, or because it's on Fox during a sweeps period, or what. I'm just not that much of a fan of reality TV. A few weeks ago, I expressed surprise that there was still some form of "Survivor" on, because I'd never paid it any attention since half-heartedly watching some episodes while playing with little kids eight years ago.

It basically has to do with me getting VERY uncomfortable with people singing badly. I don't know what it is, but I just cannot stand mediocre singing. I realize I shouldn't point my finger so loudly, since I myself am no great singer. Luckily, I confine my singing to my car and my shower; two places where I am most often alone with no one to torture. It drives me crazy to hear bad singers at our basketball games, though some of that can be attributed to our high-difficulty national anthem.

I realize that not all the singers are bad. In fact, part of the press being shoved down everyone's throat about this new "Idol" season is that they're actively pruning most of the bad people. This may or may not lose them a significant portion of their audience, namely the part that watches NASCAR for crashes.

I'm not keen on watching people be critical of other people, either (except if one of them is Tim Gunn). No doubt the episodes are not chock full of the judges tearing people apart, but that's basically all that gets showed in the TV ads, giving me no incentive to watch.

In the past, whenever I've talked about my negative "unpreferences", I get emails from people who think I'm bashing them personally for liking things. I didn't see it that way then, and I don't now: anyone is free to watch AND like these programs. Obviously, "American Idol" is one of the most popular shows on TV and it's not my job or intent to say that people should or shouldn't watch it. I'm expressing my own personal opinion, and make no assertion whatsoever about the values or merits of the people who do watch.

Unless you watch something that stars Tila Tequila. That makes you a bad person.