Here's what I zinc about my birthday

Zinc is the element number 30 on the periodic table. The number 30 is the birthday I had this past Wednesday.

My friend Erin was on the east coast on Monday night (the 21st) and we were chatting late at night via instant message. Sometime close to midnight, she asked if I had any plans for my birthday "tomorrow". I couldn't believe that my birthday was so soon. Haven't I been paying attention?

Turns out we were both confused, because she was one hour ahead. Her calendar was telling her my birthday was the next day when it was still two "days" away for those of us in the central time zone. But I didn't know that was the case. Not until I opened my calendar and double-checked the current day.

I sat down to write an entry on my birthday, filled with the ceremony and pomposity that doing anything "on the day" brings. I tried three times. What I ended up writing turned into stream of consciousness thinking each time. A while ago, I introduced you all to a way that I could tell when lots of things were on my mind: I didn't even realize the car stereo was off until I pulled into my parking space 30 minutes later.

Add to that the wandering blogger! If everything I type meanders off onto other topics, it's a safe bet that I'm preoccupied.

For weeks, many people I know have been metaphorically jabbing me in the ribs and saying, "Big day coming up! Eh? Eh?" and wink knowingly. It's the same sort of interactions that occur when people ask about my hair loss, or when they congratulated me for dating "a girl who looked like her". I guess it's supposed to cause me to say something right out of a Hollywood screenplay. "All my thinking burned my hair off!" or "True, but she shags like nobody's business! Oh yeah!" or "I'm not 30! I'm turning 29, the sequel!"

My thirtieth birthday, leaving my twenties behind.

I know some people make a big deal out of birthdays. One of my friends, a girl who likes to party and live life to the fullest, always makes a big deal out of her birthdays. She has a ton of people over, drinks a ton of booze, and tries to smooch and grab all the hot guys. Of course, she does that on regular weekends, too...

I had lunch with her once and we spent the entire time talking about age. She told me the sex and men is what she's good at. She has no skills for anything else, so she might as well dash through as many as she can; she won't be able to live that life forever. She fears what happens when her beauty and attitude dry up.

I don't fear that. Oh sure, I'm aware of the time going by. I know how many of my friends are happily married and have kids. And yes, that is disheartening some nights. But I don't fear growing old. I can see why other people do, of course. Illness, insecurity, change. Right now IS the certainty!

But even that notion is just an ameliorating balm. All things change. Does that mean we should never try to commit to anything in our lives? Are all relationships just a single hurricane or job transfer away from being ended? Hardly. The Great Pyramid of Cheops was built in 2600 BC or so. It is one of the great symbols of the permanence of humanity. For 3800 years, it was the tallest building in the world. There's a wonderful saying: "Man fears time, but time fears the pyramids."

Yet even the works of the long-dead pharaohs will crumble and turn to dust on the wind. Does that mean those Egyptians should never have bothered to build them? Of course they should have bothered!

We should always consider and work to bring about our friendships and loves lasting forever. If our ancestors could build the pyramids, we can make any unruly and inconvenient relationship succeed. It only takes the will and the drive to make it forever.

It may not last 100 years. But we should try. Trying is what we do best.

For my thirtieth birthday, those are my thoughts. So many people fear stepping outside the feeling of normality and predictability. I sure do! I've forced myself to do it and I feel better for it. It doesn't seem to make the next time any easier... but it does let me know that things don't always change for the worse. They can change for the better.