A party is just a party...

I went to a party last night. Because most parties need some sort of theme (it's so 80's to just "have a party"), this was a "just engaged/beginning of school" party. Food included guacamole, chips, chocolates, and brownies. There were jello shots (which had the consistency of "finger jello", making it an engineering exercise to remove them) and scads of bottled beer. Closer to the end, gin and DIET tonic arrived. I didn't realize there was "diet" tonic, but I've never really looked closely. Certainly, no one says in the movies, "I'll have a gin and diet tonic".

I arrived fairly early, after circling the block looking for a parking space. It was such a pleasant evening last night (mid 70s and low humidity) that I decided that parking further away and walking wouldn't be a terrible chore.

Walking inside, I had ladies screaming my name. Always a welcoming sound, as long as it's not in anger, I suppose. Apparently I was invited, but not really expected, so when I actually appeared, it was something of a surprise. I most of the people there, so I grabbed myself a spot in the corner and sat.

After about 30 seconds, a woman came up to me, man in tow. "Hiiii....I don't think we've been introduced." {long pause}

I say, "Oh, well, my name is Andy. Pleased to meet you." {shake lady's outstretched hand}

Lady says, "Greaaaat. This is Gordon." She gestures to the guy over her shoulder. He shakes my hand. He has the look of someone far older than anyone else at a party, but desperately trying to appear young.

This woman never actually introduces herself, which I don't fail to notice right away. I mean, when I say, "I don't think we've been introduced," I immediately follow up by saying my name. It was very bizarre to meet someone who seemed to be trying to be suave and sophisticated, but unable to actually "work" an introduction, which is a pretty simple part (I assumed).

Later, a woman's breasts came into the room. The woman they belonged to (and her female friend) appeared to have come from a different Friday-night-party, and were headed to somewhere else before long. She wore a very "exciting" patterned top, which had a plunging neckline, plunging to approximately two inches below her sternum. She looked very...well ventilated. I'm sure when breezes came along, she wasn't warm.

She and her friend had a hairstyle that I've seen now and again, and it never fails to remind me of feudal Japan. Straw-straight hair brought back and affixed above the temples, but the top is rigidly pulled back to create a sort of geometric quality to the face. It's very popular, though the only reason I feel that is because when I look at such a person, I invariably feel like they must feel that's a very fashionable haircut. "Going out hair", one might say.

The unknown lady and Gordon proceeded to make out. I'm not sure if the whole reason they came to the party was to have the thrill of serious kissing in "public", but I wouldn't be surprised. They spoke to few other people all night long, and brought a lot of uncomfortable affection into the room. She had chosen to wear a short skirt, and had unwisely chosen to forget how to cross her legs when sitting on low futons (the kind where your knees are higher than your waist while sitting). Due to Gordon's age, general discomfort, and slightly indented ring finger, I began to assume that either one or the other of the couple was married (not to each other) and they were using this time to catch up on their kissing, since their affair could only be conducted this one night, while his wife (the ambassador) was resolving the issues of the blood feud with the diamond miners, and her boyfriend was wrapping up his three game series against the Giants. They had only this short while to find themselves and each other. Awww....

Of course, this is the midwest. So, he's probably a car salesman and she's a administrative assistant at a non-profit organization. And they're having an affair because he's terrified of growing old and she's into "new car" smell.

That's a funny thing about going to parties as a couple. If one person is "the in friend" who knows all the other people, then the "boy/girlfriend" usually just hovers at the elbow, not really wanting to be left behind to have to speak to people they don't know. If both people are aquainted, the couples often don't "reconnect" for the entire evening. They spend enough time together as it is, and may desire tales of new experiences that don't involve "did you put away the vacuum?" and "have I already told you how hard my day at work was?"

If neither member of the couple is well acquainted, they usually end up just sitting in the corner and talking to themselves. One always feels intensely abandoned when the other goes to the bathroom of fetches more drinks, and is rapturously happy when the other returns and they can continue not having to interact.

Luckily, all of this other party strangeness pales in comparison to the fact my friends are engaged, love each other, and really want to be happy. And that is what I learned last night.