Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Everything Old is New Again, or "Take that, Copernicus!"

I struggled for some time trying to find a good tone to set for this entry. I tried making fun of it, but the more I did, the more the issue haunted me. It seemed too important for a typical send-up. Perhaps it's because I'm getting older, wiser, and less prone to compromise on issues that I deem important. Perhaps it's because I'm tired, and want to go to be all the sooner. Perhaps I've run out of words.

And then I actually wrote the essay, and my frustration manifested itself as a flippant distaste for the ideas outlined by the sources I quote. So, it turns out I'm not above petty name-calling when the situation arises, no matter how much I bluster about proper journalistic integrity.

In the end, though, I'm still haunted by this. If I have enough maturity, I'll put together a cogent explanation. In the meantime, enjoy this diatribe which uses humor to cover my sadness and frustration.

I'm not sure what my deal is. But while I figure that out, let's talk about geocentrism.

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Geocentrism is a fancy word to describe the belief that all stellar objects, including (primarily) the Sun, orbit the Earth. Not just our solar system, mind! The entire universe spins around our little blue pebble. Makes you feel important, doesn't it? After all, if the Earth is just a rock drifting through the incomprehensible empty space of the galaxy, we feel insignificant. There are billions and billions of other stars, any number of which may have planets very similar to ours.

But! If our planet is the center of the universe, we're pretty important. In the geocentric model, the earth is stationary. All other motion in the cosmos is relative to us, since we are the only non-moving observer. All of the stellar objects of creation move around us like a fancy choreographed parade at your favorite theme park. We are the center of attention, literally.

Too bad the time of the geocentric universe is over. It gave such prominence to our lives. Plus, it easily explained why the sun and stars move. I mean, any fool can look into the sky and watch the moon move while the ground beneath him doesn't move at all. Obvious.

Eventually the mathematicians came and posited the Copernican model. Copernicus, noted astronomer and ardent Catholic (which becomes important later, I promise), brought us the heliocentric solar system, where we are but one of many objects which travel around the Sun. There's math and science involved here, but let's leave that aside. It's enough to say that he's been proven right again and again. We've even gone into space, and while there, had to compensate for the movement of the Earth when trying to get our shuttles and other spacecraft back home.

Story closed, right? Science demonstrates and proves that the Earth is in motion around the Sun. We (as a planetary species) have pretty much accepted this since in the 400 years since Copernicus' death. It's taught around the world in basic science classes.

But not for much longer, at least in Georgia, if a state representative has his way. He's lobbying his fellow lawmakers in his home state (and in other states) to remove the teaching of evolution from the classroom, which may lead to the removal of heliocentric science. In itself, this crusade against evolution (and, by extension, science) isn't big news. People LOVE to try to remove evolution from the curriculum. Hell, here in Kansas, it's practically the state sport, along with the related leisure activity of trying to pass intelligent design off as a science.

Anyway, though he's specifically looking to ban the teaching of evolution, the representative's quoted sources make no doubt that the "truth" of the world is that the Earth is the center. How is evolution connected with heliocentric science, at least in the mind of Georgia state representative Ben Bridges? I certainly don't see many connections, aside of : A) both are considered science-related and B), both can be tested scientifically. Am I missing anything? Oh, right. C) they're both part of an elaborate religious conspiracy.

Betcha didn't guess that third part, did you? Well, if you're a regular reader of my blog, you probably DID guess that third part. A religious conspiracy! 2,000 years in the making. And who is responsible for this far-reaching and globally pervasive falsehood?

If you guessed "the Jews", you're right! Of course, since it was such an OBVIOUS answer, you receive no points. Yes, Rep. Bridges circulated a memo which, among other things, blames the "secular evolution science" on the Rabbinical writings in the Kabbala, referred to in the memo as the mystic book of the "Pharisee Religion". Yes, you read that right: the Jews are so tricky, they're even tricking themselves! Evolution was originally a Jewish religious idea, which then made the mainstream crossover into science, brought to popularity by the devout Catholic Copernicus, where some Jews now have the opportunity to denounce it as non-religious, and Rep. Bridges points out it does "incalculable harm to every student and every truth-loving citizen.” How intricately clever! Such sneaky foresight! When will the Jews leave the rest of us alone?

Rep. Bridge's memo doesn't specifically mention geocentricity, but the web page he cites as "evidence" does. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution has a reporter who made an official entry about this story HERE. My favorite quote involved is from Rep. Bridges himself. He stresses that the though the actual memo came from staffers, he himself is not opposed to their viewpoint.

"I agree with it more than I would the Big Bang Theory or the Darwin Theory,” Bridges said. “I am convinced that rather than risk teaching a lie why teach anything?”

The memo also mentions "indisputable evidence — long hidden but now available to everyone." The evidence mentioned comes from a site called fixedearth.com. I encourage all readers of my blog to visit their site. It's extremely educational. Be sure to read the article on why geosynchronous satellites prove the Earth is the center. Be forewarned, the font changes color often, but that's probably because one text color can't possibly hold all the truth from the "real evidence" that's flowing out.

The showcase point is a couple of Bible verses that prove, along with "all real evidence" that the Earth is not moving. As much as the concept of a Bible verse "proving" anything makes me suspicious, let's look at their evidence. One such verse is Job 26:7, which states, "...he suspends the earth over nothing." The other verse is Psalm 93:1, which reads "...The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved."

Well! I don't know about you, but I'm convinced based on those verses alone! Clearly, if God knew and approved of heliocentricity, She would have said, in the book of Astrophysicus 37:4,

"And lo, the Lord God, being merciful and just, did maketh the Earth (third planet around the yellow sun) to move unto and among the stars in such a way that, being as a wanderer, it verily proceedeth to describe an elongated elliptical path of approximately eighteen score and five days in length."

But She doesn't say that, does She? Therefore, the sun goes around the Earth. Quod erat demonstrandum. (Q.E.D.)

In any case, the web site also outlines how evolution has a religious base, which merely masquerades as a secular science. No doubt this is the "new" method for getting evolution tossed out of schools; what if it turns out that evolution is ITSELF a religious movement!

Separation of church and state, by God!

1 comment:

  1. Part of their evidence that copernicus was wrong is an article about somebody being poisoned, which apparently has absolutely nothing at all to do with anything. I read the entire article and I don't know why it is there.