The Long December

It's a good time for writing: my activities for the day are done, there's snow and wind heading our way, I've already been to the (berserk) grocery store, and it's the last day of the month and the year.

Introspection is GO!

There's a great deal going on in general life, all of it requiring attention and most of it seeming only slightly move the needle at the end of the day. Please ensure you have the proper number of vaccine shots for your age/health status. If you do, things remain the same and don't get worse. Please contemplate that the masks which took you through the previous pandemic stages are not sufficient; find an N95. Also keep being paid in order to stay alive. Also, your social contacts need maintenance. 

The last one is one that snuck up on me. I live alone, and have for years... well, decades, even. As a general rule, I have no trouble spending time by myself; statistically, I spend a high percentage of the year that way.

And I felt like it was fine. Annoying I couldn't visit family. Disappointing I couldn't have dinner with friends. But I understand it and swallow it.

And then came this December.

I had the opportunity to spend an evening chatting with another human, in person, and I loved it. It was... I felt giddy just being NEAR them. Being close enough to. bump. shoulders. A person! Right there!

To be sure, I was/am extremely pathetic! It was like being in high school again, excited that the person I had a crush on was assigned to be my class experiment partner. They're RIGHT THERE. BREATHING. Has their hair always been so shiny? Look at the way they stand: so graceful. Just like them, to do it that way! Wow. Wow. Am I staring? Ok, now I'm definitely NOT staring. Check.

And as the giddiness wore off, it turned to the wistful December feelings I'm used to. A little glimpse at a different Andy with a different life. Oh. That would have been nice, I think.

And before I was fully processed, the scene changed and I was unintentionally in public with someone I once dated and haven't seen in... years? Definitely years. And -- like with the science lab partner -- there she is, sitting right over there. Is now the time to approach and be friendly, when we're masked and conversations can't last long due to viral risk?

Maybe! But I didn't do that. And I don't feel particularly wistful about that decision. We have different lives, and it would require more than just accidental proximity to want me to be awkward in public. Our lives' arrows need not cross again.

And then it was back to playing music. I've not done much of that in the past two years, but this December was thick. Six performances! A dozen rehearsals! Trombone! The audiences aren't normal -- they're either crammed in to get a taste of live performance, or they're spaced out and partly at home out of prudence. But it is nice to play again, even if I feel the need to take frequent rapid tests to preserve my sanity.

And so it comes to December 31st. My wifi is playing games: add a new router to the upcoming purchase list. I have no plans for tonight or tomorrow. I do need to clean, as I have photo clients coming over in the first week of 2022. Browsing for new laptops; not now, but sooner than I'd like. Should I start doing more video work in the new year? Hmm, maybe a separate smaller video device. Wait, why does a GoPro need a subscription and an outright purchase?

Snow tomorrow. If it falls across dinner, will I continue my tradition of driving through the falling snow to go pick up pizza from some place? Maybe it's time in my life to make it at home, and watch the snow fall from the warmth of my dining room.