Thursday, June 12, 2014

A Big Throw

I ordered something online that happens to be coming from Hawaii. Whereas forty years ago, I might not even know where it was coming from or when to expect it, now we have digital tracking through the magic of the Internet. Let's see what my tracking tells me:


According to this, it left a post office in Hawaii on Monday, at precisely 4:21pm. It's traveling "3-Day Priority," so I might conceivably expect it today (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday). But there's no further information since Monday. Somehow I don't think there's a direct - but very slow - flight from Hawaii to Kansas City, so the package will probably head to California first, before being moved onto the plane bound for Centerland.

Personally, I like to think that they climbed to the top of one of those dormant volcanoes, took a running start, and then tossed it towards the mainland with all their might, causing it to arc up into the sky and through the earth's atmosphere, before finally landing somewhere in the field near the KC Post Office. It would explain the lack of tracking information ("Yeah, Big George sent it out of here just a bit ago").

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