Saturday, September 19, 2009

Into every life, a little Fall must reign.

No, I didn't forget about my blog.
No, I didn't die.
No, I haven't become homeless and thereby lost my WiFi.
No, I haven't "outgrown" my blog.
Yes, I have joined the Indonesian sex trafficking industry for grocery money.

Oh, wait -- I didn't do that last thing either.

I have been busy.  Along with being busy, I have been ... not exactly anti-social, because that implies that I've been actively opposing social things ("No, I'm not going drinking Friday night.  And NEITHER SHOULD YOU!").  I'll call it "demisocial", where one stays kind of involved, but not really.

This time has been productive, though: the first of my major papers is off to the editor for revisions and examination.  Since the hard part for me when writing academically is actually producing the material in its original state, the revisions end up being fun.  Or at least less stressful and time consuming.

I've read enough blogs to know that there's a bit of a cliche when it comes to writing entries after an unintentional break.  For those keeping track, my previous entry wasn't even in September and now it's the 19th.  The tradition manifests in two ways:

1) come back and say "I've just had TOO MUCH to blog about!"  I've indulged in this one before.  In my case, it's usually twinned with multiple started-but-not-finished entries about a wide variety of subjects, none of which is particularly suited for publishing after consideration in the cold light of day.  Usually, this frustrates me in the way of a sculptor: I know there's a great post there, but I didn't remove the right chunks of granite to make it into something good.

2) come back and say "there's nothing to say!"  I've probably indulged in this one, too.  Certainly when I'm up tom my eyeballs in piano scores and composer biographies, I don't find a lot of time to fit other things into a day.  Including things like "going outside" and "cooking things that aren't microwavable".  Such an author does tend to find himself in a content-less world.

I've discovered a third option.  Sometimes, after typing at a keyboard for days on end, I'm not really in the mood to type on a keyboard any more.  This is not because nothing was happening, but just from sheer fatigue of looking at a monitor and thinking about what words to say next to make the following sentence work.  My hands and eyes don't make a distinction between typing for pleasure and typing for work.  And while I can override my disinclination in order to continue to produce, I haven't felt compelled to.

Which is not to say that I haven't had things I would like to have blogged about.  I've kept a list, and sometimes I'll even open a new unpublished entry, stick a descriptive subject title on, place a single link inside, and save the package for later.  But I could never muster enough "oomph" to get over the hump.  The frustrating stuff wasn't quite frustrating enough.  The funny stuff wasn't super funny.  The rage-inducing concepts in politics and religion just couldn't push me over the edge.   

This seemed like an excellent time to get back into the habit, though.  Friends are starting to sarcastically wonder if I'd died, the arrival of five new students has kicked off my "fall earnings season", and I'm sending off another four job applications over the weekend; things are grand.  The upcoming U.K. tour is starting to loom in the distance, so I'll probably be covering the run-up to that as things arise.  My passport should be arriving today, so fingers crossed that my name is spelled right!

Another contributing factor to wanting to continue writing has been the weather.  Autumn is just around the corner and the heat of the summer (mild though it was) has broken.  This has had profound effects on my mood, which I'll detail at a later time.  Suffice it to say that I have a mostly completed post written in the heat of August that's quite depressing, but which now seems out of place with my current outlook.  Funny how a few degrees changing (and not much else) can have such an effect. 

So, expect a resumption of my erratic posting schedule, unless it's preempted by something else!  It's like I'm starting my fall television season, so stay tuned or something.

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